3 Practices That Helped Me Let Go

Letting go is not something we master overnight. It’s not a switch we flip or a lesson we learn once and carry forever. It’s a daily practice, a constant softening against the instinct to control.

For most of my life, I believed that if I just worked harder, planned better, or held on tighter, things would unfold the way I wanted them to. And sometimes they did, but often, the more I tried to force outcomes, the further away they slipped. When I was writing Surrender Thoughts and Experiences, I began to see this pattern with more clarity. The most meaningful shifts in my life….the ones that carried me further than I imagined, didn’t come from pushing. They came from allowing.

Of course, allowing doesn’t come naturally. Letting go takes practice. Here are three practices that helped me step into that truth:

1. Journaling

Putting my thoughts on paper gave them somewhere to land. The worries, the hopes, the constant swirl of “what ifs” when I wrote them down, they loosened their grip on me. Journaling became a space where I could be honest without judgment, where I could see my thoughts more clearly instead of letting them run circles in my head.

Some days my writing was a single line. Other days, it poured out like a flood. Either way, the act of naming what I was carrying gave me enough distance to breathe. I began to notice patterns, to understand where fear disguised itself as control, and to recognize the quiet truths that surfaced only when I slowed down enough to listen.

2. Mindful Breath

It seems almost too simple “one breath”. And yet, pausing to take a single intentional inhale and exhale shifted everything.

Breath brought me back to the present. It interrupted the spiral of “what if” and anchored me to “what is.” Even in the busiest moments, between client calls, in traffic, in the middle of a crowded room. Choosing one mindful breath reminded me that life happens here, not in the imagined future I was trying to control.

Over time, it became a reset button. A quiet invitation to return to myself.

3. Softening Outcomes

For so long, I approached life with clenched fists. I was certain that if I held on tightly enough, I could make things turn out the way I wanted. But control has limits. No matter how hard we try, there are always variables beyond our reach.

So I began asking myself a different question: What if it turns out even better than I planned?

That question softened me. It reminded me that my vision wasn’t the only possibility, and that sometimes life had a bigger plan than I could see. Instead of bracing for disappointment, I opened to wonder. Instead of gripping, I practiced trusting.

And slowly, I realized that letting go wasn’t about abandoning effort. It is about releasing attachment. It was about showing up fully, but allowing space for life to meet me in unexpected ways.

None of these practices erased uncertainty. Life still brings unknowns, challenges, and moments that feel heavy. I work through these moments and feelings weekly. But these practices have given me resilience, the peace I was always seeking. They helped me walk through uncertainty without being consumed by it.

Because letting go isn’t about having nothing to hold onto. It’s about holding life with open hands, willing to see what arrives. About recognizing that these “set backs” or “moments of discomfort” are actually a blessing. 

Often, what arrives beyond the discomfort is far better than what I could have forced.